“Are you madied?” I was often asked this during my visit to India. Getting married and being married seems to hold a lot of importance to women in India.  “I want my son to madie pretty,  light skin gurl who’s from rich prominent family,” one Indian woman said. She went on to talk about how sacred the union of marriage is to God. Only a petty God would care about the skin color, weight, wealth and prominence of his subjects who say, “I do.”

Many marriages are based on frivolous prerequisites and then we have the audacity to say, “What God has yoked together let no man pull apart.” It doesn’t take much energy to pull something apart when there wasn’t ever any glue holding it together.

My co-worker is angry about homosexuals getting the right to legally marry in some states. “Why is it important that they get married?” she asked me.  “Maybe for the same reasons heterosexuals want to marry,” I said. “Heterosexuals get married for religious purposes and to have children,” she then said. “What if they are atheist? You don’t have to get married to have children,” I said.”  “If you aren’t legally married a parent can’t get child support for her child.” I explained to my sixty something co-worker who has a degree that a marriage license doesn’t guarantee someone’s paternity and the courts order child support based on DNA and legal adoptions.  She then wanted to know why homosexuals have to push their rights and their way of life down our throats. I told her maybe for the same reason we heterosexuals push our way of being down their throats.

I understand homosexuals want the same freedoms heterosexuals have however I feel we put way too much emphasis on ‘the thing’ rather than the quality of the union.  Many people feel their happiness is based on what their religion, culture and society say they must have or be. The day I married myself I let go of the NEED to have another complete me. Today, I am my own best friend.

I saw a news conference about Siamese twins who were surgically separated. The elated mother said, “Now my daughters can get married.” Of all the wonderful achievements in life her daughters could accomplish, she was stuck on them saying “I do.” I would’ve been excited to no longer have to smell my twins poop when she takes a dump.

There’s an article in the New York Times today about a woman who lost her wedding band a few months after she was married.  She went on and on about the importance of her ring and what it symbolized in her marriage. She stressed and agonized about losing the ring for weeks. She had the band replaced and she lost it again. Maybe a little birdie is trying to tell her to focus more of her energy on her relationship rather than the ring. We earthlings are moving further away from what’s really important.

What would you be excited about being or doing as a result of being physically separated from your Siamese twin?

Why is it important you marry?

Just pondering.

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