I am the original bad mom. In fact, I shouldn’t have been a mother. If I had an inkling of what I know now I would’ve joined an organization to become a big sister to children who needed a friend, confidante or tutor rather than giving birth. I was married and pregnant at age 17. I didn’t enjoy being pregnant and I didn’t enjoy motherhood. I was trying to be a nurturer to my son when I was a poor mother and nurturer to myself. I got caught up into having children because of religious, cultural and societal messages that say it’s “the thing” to do. I didn’t ponder that having a vagina and a uterus was giving me a choice to be a mother. I thought it was mandatory because I was a female and that’s what females do!
After divorcing my son’s father my escape from motherhood was hanging out at nightclubs and dating wealthy bad boys. I would be at nightclubs on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I could’ve gotten a few college degrees if I spent that amount of time at universities. I was looking for distractions because I was unhappy. Being a married mother didn’t fulfill me. I wanted to be free. I wanted to run. The exhaustion in my life as a result of my many distractions helped me to not feel how miserable I really was. Dancing for hours under spinning shinny disco balls at nightclubs several nights a week matched my life spinning out of control. Escapism was my drug and I numbed myself without using narcotics. I used men.
The movie Bad Moms is worth seeing. I laughed a lot while watching it because I could relate to it. In the movie Actress Mila Kunis is Amy, a married mother of two, her life is perfect on paper and she’s the typical modern day over stressed mom who can barely find time to take her children to their many after school activities. She appears to have the perfect doting husband whose always home…on his computer. His addiction to his computer starts friction in their marriage.
When Amy’s marriage goes through challenges that she never thought would happen she meets two other unhappy mothers at a bar and they become butt wild! They ban together and make a decision to turn their lives upside down. They become party animals and they stop being overly doting moms. One morning Amy’s son asked her where was his breakfast and she told him, “Make your own breakfast.” Her son was shocked however the spoiled brat learned to be more responsible.
Actress Christina Applegate is Gwendolyn, she’s the president of the PTA. She puts a lot of energy into the façade of her unhappy marriage. When she sees the new freedom and power Amy has she wants a taste of it and the truth about her fake life unfolds because she was over suppressing her bad girl.
One of the beauties in this movie is that the bad moms bounce back and they create a balance life where they can be bad moms while being responsible mothers at the same time. I was a bad mom for too many years and my son suffered as a result because I didn’t have a balance of being a responsible mom while being a bad (fun) mom too. If you’ve never been a bad mom it may be fun to give it a try, even if it’s for only 24 hours. Being a bad mom doesn’t mean you have to use drugs, alcohol or have affairs. It can simply be wearing a pair of red pumps if that’s something you wouldn’t normally do or buy a wig in a color or style that you thought you’d never wear, wear bright colored clothes, wear fishnets or wear a mini dress and go out and have some good old fashion fun!
What are your bad mom stories? Does being an occasional bad mom help you to be a better mom? If you haven’t been a bad mom before what would be your fantasy bad mom story?